Hair
by Natie-r
Summary: The ministery publish a decree which commands all male teachers and students to short their hair.
1. A new decree

Hair  
  
Chapter one- a new decree.  
  
The note was published in the four common rooms shortly after the weekend started. It was delivered to every one of the teachers by a brown owl, a ministry one. Snape had just finished grading the dunderheads essays when it landed at his desk. He removed the note and the owl had immediately flew from the window it had just entered only a second ago.  
  
To Mr. Severus Snape, Dow to a decision made by Jonathan Pierce, the new head of the education department, all male teachers and students will now have to shorten their hair into a proper size (a sketch is attached). The decree will be in order starting Monday morning.  
  
The head of the education department, Jonathan Pierce.  
  
He read the letter again, and again. He had not shortened his hair since he had started school. This must be a joke! Maybe Albus is up to something or one of the students want to laugh at his expense. He looked at the clock hanged on the wall in front of him. Four o'clock, just the time to go to the headmaster and seal the whole thing up.  
  
He reached the gargoyle and it opened immediately, without even hearing the password.  
  
"You don't know how to cover your tracks Albus, I am up to you now." He murmured to himself in insurance.  
  
He was surprised to find that Flitwick and Hagrid were also there, shouting at the headmaster.  
  
"This is outrageous! How can you even consider this silly rule?" yelled Flitwick. "I hadn't cut my hair into a short size since I was a." a short pause. "I never cut my hair! Is this supposed to help us teach?"  
  
"Now professors, there is no need to shout." The always-calm headmaster. "We all just want the best for the children. It is just to show them an example. I am sure the rule will be out of order soon."  
  
He decided that it is time to make them aware of his presence. "If I may say something headmaster?" the three heads turned to look at him. "And what are you going to do about the new rule? I must say that your hair  
is longer than the rest of us." The wonders of psychology.  
  
"Ha Severus, I knew you would come soon. Well, I am after all the headmaster. The rules don't imply on me.  
  
This made him steer a little. "I bag you pardon?"  
  
"I will not shorten my hair Severus, because the rule only apply on the teachers and students. The headmaster has no obligation to take an active part in the. hair thing. Would you care for a lemon drop?"  
  
The famous trick of Dumbledore. Oh no, this will not distract him. "So what you are saying is that the rules don't imply on the headmaster!" You could clearly hear the tone rising in that sentence.  
  
"Hush Severus, I'm sure that it won't be that bad. After all, its just hair."  
  
"J- Just hair!!!!!????? Albus, if the murder of you would not send me strait into Azkaban, you were already dead." The other two staff members were nodding in agreement behind his back.  
  
"Look, I am sure that this all thing is very upsetting for you all." The headmaster said. "But since it is an official order from the ministry, there is nothing I can do. It's not like I can just not follow their orders."  
  
"You did it before." Flitwick said.  
  
"More than once." Hagrid added.  
  
"In front of the minister himself." Snape joined.  
  
"Oh, those few little things. This was a long time ago, no chance you'll see me doing this again." He defended.  
  
"You- you did it last summer!"  
  
"Oh well, but it was for something important." He said, and before any of them could add anything else, he had already pushed them outside of his office.  
  
It was a bad dream. All he had to do was to pinch himself and everything is going to be ok. He paced around in his quarters for search of some old photographs of himself. He found some, in all he had the length he kept now.  
  
Well, it was or that or to quit. And he certainly didn't think about that. "Scissors, Where the hell can I find scissors in here?" he mumbled.  
  
"Now, Severus. You don't seriously think that you can cut yourself alone, do you?" Hooch, defiantly her.  
  
The only person who is crazy enough to walk into his rooms without knocking  
first. Well, she and Albus.  
  
"I can do it perfectly fine myself." He sneered at her.  
  
"Come on Severus, don't be such an ass. I am only trying to help."  
  
"They should have ordered the girls to longer their hair also." He said.  
  
"That way I could have seen you shouting at Dumbaldore too."  
  
"Tough luck. Now bend over."  
  
"Sorry?" he finally looked at her.  
  
"Who would have thought that our potion master has such a filthy had." She snickered. "Both meanings of course. Now come here."  
  
He suddenly felt like running. "Hmmm, you know maybe later. I am just so busy right now."  
  
"I feel that I must remind you professors, that I played quidditch in my good days. So come here, before I will have to grab you." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----  
  
What the hell had he thought? How could he possibly bit Hooch? The woman was large pile of muscles for god's sake. So here how it went. He ran away from her and locked himself in the bedroom. She broke the door and pinned him to the nearest chair. A few seconds later, and he had a creepy mushroom on his had. Or so he called it.  
  
"No Severus, it is not that bad. The haircut is fine, don't make from it such a big deal."  
  
"You are a very sick person Hooch. I should talk with Albus about putting you in St. Mungo, for good!" he retorted.  
  
"Maybe if I will call Minerva she will tell you her opinion too. Than you will not feel so frightened."  
  
"I am not afraid."  
  
"Big Snapey is afraid of the big bad wolf." Hooch said with a childish tone. "Shell we get Sevy his blanky?"  
  
"Out Hooch, now! Or you will not see daylight ever again." He spat.  
  
"Is that a treat?" she mocked.  
  
"No, that's a promise. Now get out!" 


	2. Snape vs Hogwarts

Note: Thank you everyone for the reviews. I promise I will check it all again on the weekend, after my history test(:  
I am sorry that I accidentally removed them. my computer crashed.  
  
Chapter 2- Snape vs. Hogwarts.  
  
The day: Monday. The time: morning. Time left to hell: 10 minutes if the idiots will be late. 5 if they will actually make it on time. Patience: donations will be great. Just send them in.  
  
He skipped breakfast. No need for the all school to see him at once. It will be much better to get rid of them in small groups. The only thing was, that the first group was the worst one. Gryffindors and Slytherins, two lessons. He was pretty sure that someone above is having quite a good laugh right now.  
  
"Hell with you all." He said. And than the students began to fill in the class.  
  
First it was Parkinson, who stopped dead in her track. Than it was Malfoy who bumped into Parkinson and apologized. And he too, stopped and stared. After that came Crabbe and Goyle. But since they were not light as the two before them, the all thing caused all four to fall down with a big thud on the floor. Wisley, Granger and Potter came in together and tripped on the floor together. All the others just made the pile even bigger.  
  
He glared. If that was their reaction, he was not going to enter the staff room on his break. He felt like the new attraction at the zoo.  
  
"30 points from Gryffindor for disturbing your fellow students Potter. Now sit down, all of you!"  
  
"Maybe the hair is shorter, but the scum stayed the same." Ron muttered to Harry.  
  
"I heard that Wisley. 10 more points off your house." He sighed. This was going to be a long day.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---  
  
In the start it was just hell. Then it became into a nightmare! Apparently the rumor of the air thing, as the headmaster called it earlier had became known to all of the school in a matter of a few hours.  
  
When he went to the great hall for lunch (his stomach was already protesting for the morning miss), he was suddenly aware of two main things:  
  
A. All the girls were staring at him suspiciously (and some of the guys. Although he didn't want to think about that issue).  
  
B. The members off the staff were looking very closely on their plates.  
  
"This is just a flue." He muttered and set at the far and very dark corner of the staff table.  
  
"You know Severus, I really don't understand on what all this fuss around you. After all, it's only just.. A haircut."  
  
He startled. "What the."  
  
"Hush Severus. Watch your language." Said Lupin.  
  
Well, he should have known that the werewolf would come up with the guts to say something to him. Lupin was still rather smug that the ministry had let him teach the students DADA again.  
  
"Do shut up Lupin. I have enough trouble without you." He snorted.  
  
"I don't think that you should worry about me. The ladies are a different part altogether."  
  
"The ladies?" he was starting to get confused.  
  
" The Female type if you want to be accurate. They have decided to fancy you from what I have heard."  
  
"Do not, and I will repeat that again, Lupin! mock me. You can't even begin to imagine what I will do to you if you will laugh at my expense again."  
  
"Oh don't worry about me, I will manage. But, if you still don't believe me you should try an look to your left."  
  
He looked. And what a mistake that was. There is nothing scarier than to see the entire female staff looking at you, with a wired - sick expression on their face.  
  
This was going to be a long day. 


End file.
